I am more than I am now.

So this week was a one of a kind week. Just know the story ends happy. Monday through Thursday were the darkest days I have had to go through in a long time. I felt more numb and hopeless than ever before. I could hardly function and I still had to do things. I helped run Zion’s Camp on Wednesday which was a miracle. But on Tuesday I got to just go to the Portland, Oregon Temple and just sit in there while a recent convert got to do baptisms for the first time. I think that is the only way I got through that night and wednesday. But Sister Rosenvall and I figured out somethings that were contributing to my issues and I am going up hill. I had a discovery this week by facing one of my greatest fears. I am terrified of snakes, like can’t even see them on movies or I freak out. But this week I was sick of letting emotions inside of me control me. So on Sunday we were at a members home and out of no where they brought out a snake and I about wet myself. But then I got this grand idea that I was going to hold Jack (the snake) or I would never be able to conquer anything in my life. So I did it. I held Jack and by the end I loved Jack and even kissed him on the head. Fear is just a state of mind as my mom always says. The feelings we have that are not good are not from Christ. He doesn’t want us to feel like anything controls us, while Satan wants us to quit and feel hopeless. That snake helped me prove that I can be more at any moment than I was one moment ago. I could of easily just touched his tail and called it good, but I let him rap around my neck and kissed him. I may hurt and feel out of control but I control the out come. We are not meant to be defeated by the trials we are dealt, but become conquerors through him that loved us (Romans 8:37). Don’t let fear, depression, sorrow, hopelessness control you. But let them shape you into becoming more like your Savior, Jesus Christ. He loves you and went lower than you will ever have to go so He can lift you higher. That doesn’t mean you won’t feel like you are going through hell, it just means you don’t have to stay there. I love you all and I know you are all facing your own trials, but never feel like you have to hide it or push it away. Satan makes you feel ashamed but Christ wants your to learn and help those around you not feel alone in their trials as well. It’s okay to not be strong, but to let Christ be your arms and legs and voice and anything else you need from you, He wants to help. *Also random side note that is super funny. My beautiful companion has picked up the Brian Reagan voice and is driving herself crazy too….haha. We are losing our minds.
*And I got to see my wonderful Sister Kellianne Stirling this week!! I missed her so much and she is such an amazing person.
*And Charlie Eichel is getting baptized tonight!! I put him on date when I was in Seabeck and get to go back tonight to see him!
*And a guy we met this week lets goats

hop on his back…had to end with this one.
Sister Carr

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